Soul Reflections
by Tylluan
Summary: Another story in the "Looking For Ianto in All The Wrong Places" universe, Jack uses the artifact to jump through to another universe looking for Ianto. What does he find this time?
1. Chapter 1

This time when Jack stumbled through the portal into an alternate universe he paused and stared, confused. He was leaning against a stone wall, and as he looked around, he realized that he was still in Cardiff. A Cardiff that seemed eerily familiar, but strangely different. He looked around, noticing that he wasn't leaning against a stone wall, but a glass one. The glass was opaque and looked like it could be quartz.

"What the…?" Jack murmured, wondering if he was mistaken, and he wasn't in Cardiff at all. His mouth fell open as he gazed around the street. Looking around, he realized what was different. The streets were cobblestone, but the buildings around him were all made out of different types of crystal. There was no sign of cars anywhere; in fact, no sign of motorized vehicles at all. There was an eerie sound, and he realized that it came from the wind brushing past the buildings. It varied from a whisper to a crescendo as it whipped past angled cornices, the sound adding an odd music to the area he stood in. Jack blinked as he tried to take it all in.

Jack began walking; having pushed away from the wall he started to move along the quiet street. At one point he had to dodge a horse and cart and he wondered if he had been transported back into a parallel past that he remembered without a lot of fondness. This was too reminiscent of his time after he had left Gamestation and it was a time he wasn't happy to return to, if he was being honest with himself.

He came upon a junction and stopped, his mouth falling open as he entered an open market area. He knew he was not back in Victorian England. And in fact, he wondered whether they called this place Wales at all.

Before him stood St. David's Cathedral. Except it didn't look as he remembered, whether in the past or the present that he remembered from only a few days before. This cathedral shimmered in the wan light that came from the overcast sky above them. It was completely made of glass, and Jack marveled at the construction of such a massive structure. He was distracted by the sound of laughter and he turned to watch as a group of young boys wearing choir robes came out of a building on the opposite side of the square and headed in the direction of a the massive structure. Behind them walked a man at a sedate pace, gently chiding those more rambunctious individuals who were louder than their peers. Jack shaded his eyes as the sun came out and the reflecting light hit him in the face. There was something familiar about that walk.

"You have got to be kidding me," he murmured. He stepped away from the shadow of the alleyway and walked across the square, trailing after the group of boys who were now walking in pairs as they lined up at the entrance to the cathedral. Soon he was within calling distance, but he held his tongue as he attempted to observe the individual at the end of the group. The man was busy organizing the boys according to height, and the rowdy group quieted as they lined up in an orderly formation. "Ianto?"

The man in the cassock glanced up as a strange voice called out his name. "Yes?"

Jack had to stop his mouth from falling open for yet a third time as he met a familiar gaze. Grey-blue eyes met his own and the other man smiled. Jack felt a pain in his chest as he saw that face he had thought never to see again. "Oh my God," Jack whispered. A phrase ironically appropriate, given the man he was looking at was wearing a Roman Catholic collar.

"May I help you?" The man with Ianto's face and voice asked Jack with a look of inquiry. At that moment organ music started inside the massive cathedral and he smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, gweddi bore is starting. Perhaps I can assist you afterwards?" He smiled politely at the strangely dressed man. Jack stared at him for a long moment before his words sank in.

"Yes, of course," Jack murmured and looked away, confused. Where exactly had he ended up? The man in front of him gave him another hauntingly familiar smile before turning towards his charges and encouraging them to enter through the massive front doors. He brought up the rear and climbed the shallow steps at the front of the cathedral before looking back. The man behind him looked confused, and Father Ianto Jones was torn, since it was obvious that the man was in need of assistance.

"Please, come inside. This house is open to all. Afterwards, I would be happy to meet with you," Father Ianto said with another smile. The man nodded, and he took the response for acquiescence. Turning back towards the doors of the great cathedral, he entered behind the choir and followed them up the nave to the transept area, and the choir seating. He didn't look behind him, but was confident that the man would follow him into the cathedral.

After hesitating for a long moment, Jack followed. He paused as he entered the cathedral. Candelabras shimmered above him, the light from the candles reflecting in the vaulted glass ceiling above him. The pews were only halfway filled, and Jack realized that he was at an early morning service. Only the clergy and the devout were up for morning prayer. He was torn, knowing that the situation was hopeless, but unable to resist the temptation of meeting Ianto. Even if the man he had just met was as unattainable as the man who had left the world he had come from. He bowed his head with a sigh and took a seat in the last pew.

The group of boys and their shepherd reached their seats and sat down. A moment later, the doors opened again and Jack watched as the local bishop and several priests came in and walked up the aisle. He stifled a cough as the heavy smell of incense wafted over him as they passed. He remembered why he usually avoided these sorts of things and debated whether it was better to wait outside until it was over. He shifted in his seat and one of the parishioners turned to stare at him for making noise. Sighing softly, he crossed his arms over his chest and decided it was probably best to stay where he was.

The choir started singing and the sound reverberated through the building, the crystal creating interesting harmonics in response to the hymn. From that moment on, Jack was captivated and wouldn't have left even if he had to in an emergency. It was like nothing else he had experienced before, and he could see the rapturous expressions on the congregation as they listened to the pure notes that the boys sang. Then the mass started and Jack found that the sounds of the priests chanting carried to every nook and cranny of the cathedral.

The building had superb natural acoustics and although the whole service was in Welsh, Jack found himself drawn in, even though he still didn't understand much of the language. He watched as it progressed, the prayers interspersed with moments of song as the choir sang another hymn. He wasn't aware of the passing of time until the priests handed out the Eucharist and a short time later they were walking back down the aisle as the choir sang. He stood when the rest of the congregation did and bowed his head as the priests passed him, accepting the blessing they bestowed upon him. He felt a certain irony in doing so, not being the religious type, but appreciating their gesture nonetheless.

The choir followed, the boys still singing as they walked out of the cathedral, the man that Jack was interested in bringing up the rear again. He remained standing as they passed him, and he waited for the congregation to leave before he slipped through the doors.

The courtyard was mostly empty by the time he emerged, a few stragglers lingering as they chatted with one another. Jack wondered if he had waited too long, since the choir had disappeared. He had spent the time wondering just what it was he would say to the man he had met outside. A man who no doubt was curious that he knew his name. As Jack glanced around, he saw a figure dressed in a black cassock with the snow white surplice over it standing off to the side and he looked up to meet that familiar gaze again. Jack swallowed, still not sure what it was that he was going to say to the man who stood waiting for him.

Father Ianto Jones stood and looked up at the man in the strange uniform. He waited patiently for him to descend the steps. He didn't know the man, but obviously the man knew who he was. Something told him to be patient, that this man was harboring a hurt somewhere deep within him. Most people came to the cathedral for help, whether it be that of the heart and soul or for more material things such as food and shelter. Father Ianto suspected this one was sorely in need of help for the former, rather than the latter. When the man only stared at him without moving, he decided that he needed to take the first step. He walked to the base of the stairs and smiled up at the man before him.

"May I help you, my son?" He asked, his accent lending a musical sound to the words. The man stared down at him for a long moment before closing his eyes and sighing. "Please, whatever it is, perhaps I can help."

"I sincerely doubt that, Father," Jack said with a sigh, but he walked down the stairs to join the man before him.

"There is always hope for those who need help," Father Ianto said serenely. "And you look like a man sorely in need of hope." Jack shook his head.

"I think I'm beyond hope," he said softly, looking into the eyes he knew so well which stared at him in sympathy.

Father Ianto looked into the steady blue gaze of the man before him. He could see pain housed within them, as well as something else that he couldn't define. One thing he did know, however, was that this man was in need. If he could assist him, then he would be doing the Lord's will. Smiling at the other man, he extended his hand. "I don't believe we have met, though it seems you know my name. Would you please tell me yours?"

"Jack Harkness," Jack said as he clasped Ianto's hand and shook it. He felt himself shiver as Ianto touched his hand. Even his touch was the same, the grip warm and firm.

"Well Master Harkness, perhaps I can help soothe whatever is troubling your soul," Father Ianto said with a smile. He paused as if struck by a sudden thought. "But where are my manners? Please, come with me." With that Father Ianto tugged on Jack's hand, leading him across the square and towards another building that looked like a rectory. "Let us get inside, where I can offer you some refreshment."

Jack hesitated for a moment, torn. He knew that there was no hope for him in this reality, but couldn't help himself from following the other man. He did pull his hand back, as he felt a little uncomfortable with it in Ianto's grasp. The man by his side gave him a reassuring smile as he led the way into the rectory. Voices could be heard somewhere in the building, but Father Ianto turned the corner away from the sound and led the way down a short hallway. Jack noted that this building was built of crystal as well, but that the colors were a dark and murky red which didn't really show anything on the other side of the glass. Jack felt that at least that afforded some privacy for the residents. He smiled to himself as he thought about people living in glass houses. If any group would be eligible to do so, it would be a group of priests, he thought to himself.

Father Ianto opened a doorway and motioned for Jack to go through. Once inside, he offered to take Jack's greatcoat.

"Please, that must be rather warm. Let me take that for you," Father Ianto said. Jack automatically shrugged out of it, habit making him respond to Ianto's request. He felt his hand brush Ianto's as he handed over the garment and he looked away. He had a feeling that it was going to get awkward if he wasn't careful. He turned away as the other man draped his coat over the arm of a chair. He then tugged on the white surplice, removing it and folding it carefully before setting it down on the back of the chair next to Jack's coat.

"Please, sit," Father Ianto implored the man before him. He watched as the man named Jack Harkness sat down on the edge of a settee, almost as if he were poised to get up again. The priest observed the nervous movements of the other man's hands as well as the way he looked at everything other than the only other occupant of the room. This man was clearly uncomfortable, so Father Ianto sought to ease his nervousness. "May I get you some refreshment?" His question brought Jack's gaze back to him.

"I don't want to be any trouble," Jack murmured, confused by the gentle ways of the man before him.

"No trouble at all," Father Ianto said with a serene smile as he stood up again. "I'll just be a moment." He walked to the back of the room and behind an arras which hung from the wall. Jack sat back, trying to make himself relax. It was obvious that the other man had picked up on his nervousness and he sternly told himself to stop worrying. This man was clearly not his Ianto, although his looks and mannerisms were the same. He was also off limits. Jack thought about the other dimensions he had been in so far, and how in each the man he found wasn't right. They were all Ianto, but there was always something different. Something that separated them from the man he had known. The man he had loved. He closed his eyes, feeling his eyes sting. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't notice when Ianto returned. It was only when the scent of the liquid refreshment wafted in his direction that he realized that the priest had returned and had taken his seat again after setting a tray of something that smelled suspiciously like coffee only slightly different, on the table between them. He then poured them both a cup and handed one to Jack. "Perhaps this will help."

"Thank you," Jack said. He had to swallow past a lump in his throat as he looked at the man sitting across from him. He was careful not to touch his hand as he accepted the cup and took a sip. He sighed. Whatever it was, it was good. Not that he could expect anything else, from any incarnation of Ianto that existed.

_To be continued…_


	2. Chapter 2

"You look tired," Father Ianto observed. Jack smiled wryly. "Have you been traveling long?"

"All my life, it seems," Jack said in response. "Sometimes it feels like forever."

"Life is a journey," Father Ianto acknowledge with a glint of amusement in his eye. "It's not a road that we often know the direction of or the length of the journey. But still, we persevere to do the best we can with what time we have."

"And what if one has forever?" Jack asked, finding it odd that he should be the topic of a philosophical question, but not questioning it at the moment. "What then?"

"Well, if one had forever, they would have much to reflect on," Father Ianto said as he considered Jack's comment. He took a sip of his drink as he glanced up and met Jack's gaze. Jack looked weary and his eyes looked as if they had seen several lifetimes of pain. He tilted his head as he regarded the other man. Despite his strange clothing, he looked rather ordinary – a man like any other that had passed through the doors of this building, and although the man in front of him was rather handsome in a classical way, he didn't look much different from any other petitioner looking for peace within his soul.

"Forgive me if this sounds too forward of me, but when I look at you, I see a man who is soul weary. A man who has experienced pain at the hands of others. A man who has lost his way," Father Ianto said, his gaze sympathetic. The man in front of him glanced away, unable to meet his eyes. "Since I am in the business of helping others, I thought that perhaps you came to me to speak of what is wearing on your heart. They say that shared pain is halved. I would take on that burden for you if it would help."

Jack let out a sigh. He was finding himself in an impossible situation. How could he even begin to explain what was bothering him? And even if he could and make this Ianto believe him, what good would it do?

Father Ianto waited patiently. All he could was to make the offer. It was up to the man before him to decide to trust. To lighten his own burden by sharing whatever it was that was weighing on him. The priest sat back and waited.

"Honestly? I don't even know why I'm here," Jack finally said as he put his empty cup down on the table that separated them and he rested his hands on the arms of the chair.

"You are seeking something. Peace, perhaps," Father Ianto said, his gaze sympathetic as he regarded Jack. "Talking it out can help." He watched as Jack shook his head. "You don't think that's possible?"

"Not in this instance," Jack said as he closed his eyes. He felt the irony of the situation all too keenly. Even at the best of times he had difficulty sharing details about himself. And this wouldn't be what he would consider the best of times. To share his story with this man of all men, and in this setting, was bordering on the impossible. "I'm sorry. I just can't," he whispered. He jumped as he felt the warm touch of a hand covering his own. Startled, he opened his eyes to see that the priest had leaned forward in his chair and had reached out to clasp his hand.

"My son, there is nothing you can tell me that would surprise me. Nothing so fantastic that I will not believe you." They stared into each other's eyes and Father Ianto hoped that the sincerity of what he was saying would seep through the protective barrier that this man had wrapped around himself, much like the cloak he had been wearing.

Jack let out a derisive laugh. "Oh Father, you have no idea what you're asking. You really don't." He pulled his hand away and the priest hesitated a moment before returning his hand to his lap.

"I think I do," Father Ianto responded. "What can it hurt to share what is bothering you?"

Jack stared at him for a few moments, weighing the offer. It could do this man a world of harm for one thing, he thought to himself. To know that there were other worlds, other versions of himself that were so different that in some ways they were at the opposite ends of the spectrum. Still, the urge to unburden himself to someone was overwhelming. To be able to share the fantastic worlds that he knew of and to tell someone that he knew would not tell another soul. Was this man strong enough to listen to what he had to tell him?

"Father, would you think me insane if I told you I'm not from this world?" Jack began, testing the waters to see what the reaction would be. The man before him cocked his head to one side as he regarded Jack. His keen eyes took in the strange manner of dress, the materials unlike anything he had seen before. They glanced at the strange piece of leather that was wrapped around the man's wrist. The top was covered, but he had noticed some lights flashing on it as Jack had removed his coat. He noticed the color of the mud which clung to the boots. It was not a color that was easily found within the city, or even in this region.

"No, I would not think you insane," he finally concluded, raising his gaze to meet the eyes of the man before him. "I would, perhaps, question how it is that you came to be here, but I can quite easily believe you are not a native."

"And does that concept bother you?" Jack asked.

"Should it?" Father Ianto asked in a mild tone. "To assume that this world I live on is the only one capable of bearing life would be a hubristic assumption, would it not? And I believe that God as the creator of all would not allow the miracle of life to occur only in this one place."

Jack stared at him and smiled. "So the fact that I might be from a world that isn't even a shimmering star in your sky isn't a problem for you?" The priest shook his head. "You take it on faith?"

"That what you tell me is true?" Father Ianto asked. "Yes, I guess I do. You pattern of speech and mannerisms are not like others I know, and your clothing is not a product of our weavers. You have some odd gadget on your wrist which flashes," he observed and smiled as Jack covered the leather strap with his free hand. "So yes, I believe you. And no, it isn't a problem."

"Okay," Jack replied. "What if I was to tell you that not only is there life out there on other planets," he said as he gestured up towards the ceiling. "But that I'm also from another time." The priest looked confused for a moment as he considered Jack's words.

"You mean the past?" He finally asked as he tried to puzzle through what Jack was alluding to. "Or the future?"

"Yes," Jack replied. He watched as the other man frowned thoughtfully as he mulled that idea over. "How fantastic does that sound to you?"

"Well, if one were from the future, one would know the history of the place one traveled to," Father Ianto mused. "Wouldn't it be awkward if one accidentally changed history just because they were there in their own past?"

"Father, you have no idea," Jack said with a rueful grin. "In fact, there are laws regarding that very thing."

"Amazing," the priest murmured, lost in thought for a moment while he considered that. He shook his head. "Where are my manners? Are you hungry? May I get you some food?"

Jack could feel his stomach rumble at the mere mention of food. "You don't need to go through any trouble for me," he said.

"It's no trouble, and I was going to make something for myself, so I would be happy to have you join me," Father Ianto said. He stood up and smiled. "Please, come with me. We can chat while I make us something to eat." Jack stood and followed the other man through the doorway hidden behind the arras. It opened to a small hallway. Jack walked behind the priest towards a small kitchen area. There was only one other opening and a glance showed a narrow bed not much bigger than the camp cot he had slept in for years. He smiled wryly as he thought about how similar their lives had been in some ways.

Once they walked through the doorway to the open area, Jack looked around. There was a small cooking area off to the side and a wooden table with two chairs. The priest gestured for him to sit before going through another doorway and coming back with a bowl. Once it was uncovered, Jack saw that it had meats, sausages and cheeses inside. In Father Ianto's other hand was a loaf of bread. This room was bright and airy, and as Jack looked up, he noticed that the crystal ceiling was a lighter color here. The sun was also shining now, and it created a rainbow of light in the room. Jack saw that there were panes that had chains attached, almost like louvered windows. He marveled at the ingenious design. For a world with low technology, they certainly were innovative.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Jack asked, but the other man shook his head. He left the food on the table in front of Jack and went back the way they had come, returning shortly with the tray of drinks they had left behind. Jack was bemused as he watched the other man work quietly and efficiently, bringing in a pitcher of water from somewhere outside of the room and placing a glass pot on the odd cooking area. The priest reached up and tugged on a chain, which rotated a piece of glass in the ceiling. The reflection off the glass made a beam of light hit the stove area and a few moments later he could see that the water was being heated by the sunlight. "That's amazing," he said with a smile, captivated by the simple system.

"It works well for my needs," the priest said with an equitable look as he moved around the tiny kitchen, cutting up the meat and cheese as well as the loaf of bread before placing it all on the platter on the table.

"What do you do when there's no sun?" Jack asked, curious.

"Have something cold to drink," Ianto said with a smile as he poured the now boiling water into the pot. He brought the tray over to the table and placed the pot off to the side before putting Jack's cup before him. "We do have the option of starting a fire, but more often than not we don't, since we don't have much combustible material here in the city," he said as he took his seat opposite Jack. "Now, where were we?"

"Talking about the future," Jack prompted, smiling as this Ianto handed him a sandwich.

"Ah, yes," Father Ianto said with a nod, efficiently putting his own sandwich together before turning his attention back to Jack. "So you are from the future, and from a different world?"

"Yes," Jack said. "And not exactly." He took a bite from his sandwich and enjoyed the rich flavor of the cheese as he swallowed. "This is very good."

"Thank you," the priest said with a smile. He poured them both some more of the coffee like drink and put the pot back down on the table. "And how can I be correct, but not exact?"

"Well, I'm from the future, but where I came from just now isn't your future," Jack said. He wanted to see how far he could go with what he had to say. "I came from a parallel time."

The younger man took a bite of his sandwich and chewed for a moment as he considered Jack's statement. "So what you are saying is that not only are there other worlds, but that there are other realities?"

"Yes," Jack said, pleased that this Ianto was as quick witted as the man he had loved back on Earth. He waited for the other man to take the next leap of thought and a moment was rewarded as this Ianto came to a conclusion.

"So if what you say is correct, then there are potentially multiple versions of yourself and myself and everyone all living their lives in different realities at the same time. Is that right?" Father Ianto asked.

"Essentially, yes," Jack acknowledged. He took another bite out of his sandwich and waited.

"So if you can travel in time, and through these parallel times as you call them, what happens if you meet yourself?" Father Ianto found this conversation fascinating. It opened all sorts of theoretical and theological possibilities that he hadn't considered before.

"That's where it can get complicated," Jack said, feeling encouraged by this Ianto's enthusiasm. "It can cause a paradox if you were to meet yourself."

"Now this is where I have to state that according to God, we are each of us unique in this universe, so therefore it is impossible for me to have a double in another time, since by that teaching it shouldn't exist," the priest said as he thought about it for a moment.

"With all due respect Father, that is an interpretation created by man," Jack said, feeling that he needed to tread lightly when discussing issues of faith. "But given what you say, is it not possible that God created all these possible universes and that they play out in parallel to one another as infinite possibilities?" The other man appeared to be deep in thought as he considered Jack's question.

"Well, it would be pretty naïve of me to think that there is only one possible reality and that only I exist in that one place, wouldn't it?" Father Ianto said with a wry smile after taking another sip of his drink. "But what purpose would it serve to allow someone to travel between these realities?"

"Well, sometimes it's accidental," Jack said with a nod. "Think of it as the walls between each reality as growing thin at times and someone falls through."

"And is that how you came to be here?" The priest asked. He wasn't sure what he believed at the moment, but he accepted on faith that Jack believed what he was telling him. "You fell through a wall in the fabric of reality?"

"No, I jumped through," Jack responded. "It was deliberate."

"And why would you do that?" Father Ianto asked. He noticed that Jack looked down and seemed absorbed in cleaning up the crumbs from his sandwich as if it were the most important thing to do at the moment. The priest sat back and waited. It seemed like their conversation was getting close to something that was uncomfortable for the other man, and he decided that it would be best to wait for Jack to relax before they continued.

Jack sighed and finally looked up at the man opposite of where he was sitting. He was getting to the point where he either needed to continue or back away and leave. He almost flinched as his eyes met the sympathetic gaze of the man before him. "Because I am looking for someone," he finally said.

Father Ianto stared at Jack Harkness while he thought of what the other man had just said. By supposition it meant that Jack was looking for someone who was no longer in the world he left. "Ah," was all he said.

Jack frowned. He wasn't sure what was going through the other man's mind. "Like I said, it's complicated."

"Life usually is," the priest said in a mild tone as he poured them the last of the drink that was in the pot. "But I do have to ask, what do you hope to gain by finding this person in this time and place?"

Jack let out a sigh. "I don't know," he admitted. "To see them. Talk to them. To apologize for allowing them to get hurt and to say what I didn't get to say to them when they were…" his throat closed up. He glanced down, unable to meet the eyes of the man he loved back on Earth.

"Alive?" Father Ianto asked. Jack nodded, but didn't look up. "It may help to talk about it." He waited a moment, but Jack seemed to be studiously avoiding his gaze. He decided to let things sit for a bit and stood. Collecting their plates and the pot, he brought them over to the sink to rinse out and clean. His movement startled Jack, who looked up and then away as the priest moved away and over to the small basin area. He washed the dishes and put them on the counter to dry before pumping some more water from the cistern into the pot. Placing that back on the counter to heat, he kept himself busy, allowing Jack time to work through whatever it was that he needed to work out for himself.

By the time the water had been reheated, he decided that Jack had had enough time to reflect on it all. He carried the pot back to the table after adding in the combination of roots which made the drink. He sat back down and waited for Jack to say something. When Jack continued to avoid looking at him, he frowned slightly, but said nothing as he leaned forward to pour them both their refreshment again. Jack sighed softly as Father Ianto pushed the cup closer to his hand.

"If you don't feel comfortable speaking about it, then that is fine," the priest finally said. "But please consider the fact that you are uncomfortable as a reason why I urge you to speak about what happened, and what you might expect now that you are here in my reality."

Jack finally looked up and gave Father Ianto a self depreciating smile. "I pretty much know the answer to that," he said. "Perhaps it is a lesson that I can't go back. That I can't talk to this person because they are not the same person that I knew before."

"So, you think it's possible that this person you are looking for is so radically different than the person you knew that closure for you is impossible?" Father Ianto cocked his head to one side as he regarded the other man. Again, Jack looked down, avoiding his gaze. "Or could it be that you weren't looking for closure, but to find the person you lost and continue your relationship?"

Jack looked up, startled once again by this Ianto's perceptiveness. He opened his mouth to respond, but found that he was at a loss for words. How could he tell this man before him what had happened, and what he really expected by hopping through to a parallel universe?

"I see by your gaze that perhaps I'm correct in that assumption," the priest said. Jack didn't respond. "What would you hope for to happen in that instance? A rekindling of a friendship? Forgiveness for whatever happened to this person's other self? Or something else?" The other man sat across from him, mute for the moment. "Tell me Jack, what is it that you hope to achieve?"

"I don't know," Jack said finally with a shake of his head. "I guess it was wishful thinking that I could find another version of my friend who was the same, or similar enough that I could have another chance."

"So you would interrupt the life they have here?" Father Ianto asked. "I can see where the temptation would be do so, given the ability to go from one reality to the next. But would that be fair to that person?"

"No," Jack said in a low voice as he looked away again. He knew that in this instance, it was nigh impossible for him to do that. "It would not."

"Then I'm sorry for you," the younger man said. "To have come all this way only to have your hopes dashed." He waited a moment, but Jack didn't respond. "So, knowing what you know now, will you still seek this person out?"

"It's too late, I already have," Jack said. He looked up at met Father Ianto's gaze. In his eyes, the priest saw a world of pain. He inhaled softly as he made the connection.


	3. Chapter 3

"The one you lost," the priest said softly, staring intently at the man before him. "He too was Ianto?" Jack nodded and bit his lip. It explained how this man knew his name. "I see." He considered what he would say next. "Would it help if you said to me what you didn't get to say to your Ianto?"

Jack let out a sigh and shook his head. "No, I don't think it would help," he said. The fact that this man sitting before him was so understanding – so willing to assist him hurt more than he thought it would if the other man had just rejected him outright. "I told you it was complicated."

"Life is often complicated," the priest said with a slight smile. Jack had to look away. That same smile often meant something else to him, back in another time and place. "If you can't explain it to me, who can you explain it to?"

Jack rubbed his hand across his eyes. "Father, what would you say if I told you that in some ways the Ianto Jones I knew was the polar opposite of you?" He looked up when he heard the other man chuckle.

"I'd say I'd be intrigued," Father Ianto said, still smiling. "But I do have to wonder what my opposite would be like. The mental image I'm getting from that concept is a bit disturbing."

Jack could see where he could possibly come to the wrong conclusions. "Let me just say that the Ianto I knew was not an evil man. He was very much a man of principles. He had faith in what we did. And it was because of that faith in me that he… died when we confronted evil."

"Well then, he doesn't sound that different for me at all," the priest said.

"In some ways he was," Jack admitted as he ran his hand through his hair. He decided that since he was in for a penny, he might as well go all the way. "When I say that he was your opposite, let me just say that he wasn't celibate."

"Ah," Father Ianto murmured. He thought about what Jack had to say. "And I take it that perhaps he was not celibate with you?" It all began to make sense to him now. Why Jack was searching for another version of him. The man had been in love with his other self. He thought about a version of himself who might have been in a relationship with another man and found it not all that strange that it might have been the case.

"I'm sorry," Jack said softly, ashamed that he had pushed this man who was obviously innocent to the ways of the flesh in such a fashion. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable," he said.

"I'm not," the priest said. He reached across the tiny table and placed his hand on Jack's, making the other man flinch. "You loved him. And I presume that he loved you?"

"Yes," Jack whispered, closing his eyes as he felt tears sting his eyes. At another point in time he would wonder how he could even still cry after everything that had happened. But this enforced conversation with a man he considered untouchable had gotten under his skin. Had touched him in a way he hadn't expected to happen. His understanding had opened that crack in his armor that he had thought was sealed. "He did. But I never got to tell him that I loved him. I was there when he…." Jack swallowed. "He was in my arms, and I couldn't speak the words."

"Do you think he didn't know how you felt?" Jack looked up into the other man's eyes. They were sympathetic and held compassion within them. "Jack, when two people care for one another, it transcends words. It touches the soul. That speaks so much louder when hearts align with one another," Father Ianto said earnestly, trying to soothe the pain he saw in the other man.

"But I didn't say the words," Jack said, still feeling miserable. "And he needed to hear them in those moments. He thought I'd forget him. I could never do that."

"Jack, I don't know what your personal beliefs are, but do you believe that people have a soul?" Father Ianto asked. Jack looked startled for a moment.

"I believe they do, yes. An essence, something…" Jack said as he thought of Eugene, and how he had saved Gwen's life. He looked back up at the man so like his lover, yet so different. "Yes."

"Then would you not believe that you can communicate with that soul, even after death?" The priest asked. Jack looked startled for a moment as he considered what he was being told. "And when two souls connect, would you not assume that they are tied together in some way? That even now, your Ianto is with you, because of that love you have for him?"

"I…" Jack felt his throat close up as he thought about that. He looked down at his hands. "I just wanted another chance. A chance to make it right for him. To make it different."

"Even if it is a man from another reality who doesn't share that past history with you?" The man in front of him asked. "Would it be fair to that individual?"

"I guess not," Jack whispered. He closed his eyes again, feeling the hopelessness of not being able to achieve the dream that the tarot girl had promised him. "But what if I find a man with a similar background? Someone who knew me in that other reality? Who had a shared history of some kind?" He felt like his was clutching at straws, but he felt he had to keep on trying.

"Jack, how many other realities will you have to seek out to find that one you're searching for?" Father Ianto asked, trying to make the man before him see reason. "What you suggestion could take several lifetimes of searching. And in each you take the chance of getting hurt when you find someone who looks like your lost love, but isn't him. Can you accept all of that potential hurt, plus the harm you might unintentionally do to those other incarnations of your love?"

Jack bowed his head. He couldn't tell this man of his affliction, and that at this point, he had all the time in the universe to look for his soulmate. And he knew that despite this conversation, he would keep on looking.

Father Ianto Jones looked up, noting that the sun had passed the horizon in the time they had been talking and it was now heading onto evening. He stood up, the scrape of his chair startling Jack. He held out his hand to the other man.

"Come with me," he said. Jack stared at the proffered hand before taking it and standing up. "I want to show you something."

Jack stood and let himself be led out the back doorway and into a small garden. The man at his side led him through a gate and he realized that they were actually on the back side of the cathedral. Tall grass swayed in the early evening breeze as Jack followed the man in the cassock through the field. Without artificial lighting, the stars in the sky shone brightly and Jack looked up as they paused in the middle of the field.

"Please sit," Father Ianto said as he sat down on the ground and patted a space beside him. Jack sank down and sat, not sure what was going to happen next. "Lay back," the priest said and suited actions to words as he reclined backwards into the grass. He tugged on Jack's arm and Jack slowly complied. He was feeling really confused and not really sure what was going to happen next. There was part of him who wondered if perhaps priests had a different function in this universe and maybe he had been wrong about assuming that the other man was celibate. Another part of him berated that first half, saying that it was pretty obvious that this Ianto didn't think that way.

He found himself almost lost in a forest of greenery. Even though Father Ianto was right next to him, it almost felt like he was alone, lost in amongst the tall strands. He looked past the waving fronds. Above him, the sky was a deep indigo as the sun set, bringing nighttime to this world.

"Look above. What do you see?" Ianto's voice asked softly. The other man was close enough to touch, but the grass gave Jack the illusion he was on his own.

"Stars," Jack said. In a world without industry, there were no pollutants to haze the night sky, and he could see hundreds of lights twinkling above them. None of them formed any constellations he recognized, but that wasn't a surprise. "They're beautiful."

"Yes, they are, aren't they?" Ianto's voice drifted over to him. Jack inhaled the sweet smell of the grass, finding that it was very relaxing to just lay there and contemplate the heavens above them. Jack just drifted, enjoying the quiet. It wasn't until one listened to a world without technology that one realized just how noisy life could be. Jack thought back to the world he had left behind him. The cars, the lorries, buses, people rushing everywhere and how peaceful this was in contrast. Lying in the grass, Jack listened intently. In the early evening quiet he focused on little things. The sound of the grass swishing softly in the breeze. The whisper of the wind against the massive cathedral behind them. Something rooting in the underbrush somewhere off to the side. He felt himself relax into the sounds, letting them soothe him.

"Do you know what we are told as children?" That achingly familiar voice asked him. Jack swallowed. For a moment he forgot that this wasn't his Ianto. Wasn't the same man. He was someone very different, yet hauntingly similar. When Jack didn't respond, the other man continued. "That all these twinkling lights are past souls of ones who have lived before us. They ascend into the heavens to watch over and protect us. I always thought that curious, since this is such a small place that there are so many stars in the sky. But perhaps it's because these souls are not just from my world, but from all the others out there. And all those distant lights represent other people, on other worlds."

Jack stared up at the sky. Intellectually he knew that those twinkling lights were individual stars across the universe, and that they didn't contain the souls of past loved ones. But his heart could see where that might be a comfort to someone who had lost a loved one.

"So now you tell me that these are actually distant suns. Distant planets with other realities," Father Ianto laughed softly. "And if each of them has multiple realities in other universes, it must be a very crowded place in the heavens indeed. No wonder there are so many of them! And now I think about how many of them might have another version of me. A version that took a different path, and grew up under a different sun. Met different people. Loved others. And it makes me marvel that God in his infinite wisdom has created something that can play out all these possibilities. It's simply marvelous."

Jack heard the wonder in the other man's voice and it made him smile. For a moment there he had been concerned that he had shattered this other man's world and his vision of his place in it. But this Ianto had chosen to see the bigger picture. To see the endless possibilities. This man was so much like the man he had loved, yet so different. He jumped when he felt the brush of Ianto's hand against his own. When he turned his head to the side, he could see the other man's silhouette outlined against the grass.

"Jack, do you really plan to go out amongst each of those stars and all of their own realities as you search for a version of me that you can find to start again?" Jack pressed his lips together but said nothing. "Have you considered that what happened to your Ianto was meant to be in that reality and that God had a purpose in what happened?"

The priest looked at the man before him. He could see the pain in the other man. Had heard it in his voice. He wondered at what could make a man go through such extraordinary measures to find a lost love. To persevere time and time again, not finding the right version of the man he loved. Being hurt by that discovery, yet willing to do it again and again in the hopes of finding his soul mate again. He waited to see what Jack had to say.

Jack stared at the man before him before letting out an explosive sigh. "At first I did. I accepted what happened. Well, I didn't really accept it, but I thought I couldn't change it. But then something happened." He went on to explain what happened with tarot girl and how she had led him to believe he could find happiness again. To be with the man he loved, and hadn't been able to tell before. To make things right.

"And how long can you search?" The other man asked. "There is only so much time in one's life. Surely it would be better spent on other things?" Jack laughed at the irony of his comment.

"Father, I could search for eternity," he said after his laughter had subsided. He debated whether he should tell this man the truth about himself. He wondered if doing so would shake this man's belief in the universe more than he had already. The urge to unburden himself overcame him and he threw caution to the wind and began to speak.

As full night descended, the stars above them grew brighter. Jack could no longer see even the shadow of the man he spoke to. It made it easier to speak into the dark, not having to see the reaction as he told his tale. He left nothing out, telling about everything he had done and how he had ended up to be where he was at that moment. When he finally stopped, his companion was quiet for a long time as he considered what Jack had to say.

Jack felt nervous, wondering if what he had said had been too much for the other man. But he bided his time, letting the other man absorb it all. It was done and he couldn't take what he said back.

"Jack, what you've told me is truly incredible," the priest finally said. "You speak of things that are beyond my understanding. But I do believe them to be true, since you would have no reason to tell me otherwise. I can see that you think of what happened to you as a curse. And I can understand why you would feel that way, since eventually you lose those that are close to your heart. But have you also considered that it happened for a reason?"

"You mean that God wishes for me to suffer like this?" Jack gave a self depreciating laugh as he rolled onto his side, looking in the other man's direction though he couldn't see him through the grass in the dark. "What did I do to deserve that sort of punishment? Because whatever it is, I'm happy to go in front of him and apologize."

"Have you ever wondered whether it is a gift?" Father Ianto asked, his voice low, but they were close enough to hear one another. "That there is a reason in His plans for what has happened? That He needs you to do something?"

"If he does I wish he had asked first," Jack said. He rolled back onto his back and rested his head on his clasped hands. "I think I would have said thanks, but no thanks for the honor." A low chuckle was the priest's response to his comment.

"I believe we are seldom asked our opinion, because most often the answer would be no," he finally responded. "How many of us would say 'please, let this cup pass me by, let another partake of it?' In the long run, there would be more people refusing than those that would say yes." Jack was quiet as he thought about it.

"Okay, I get that. But could I at least know why?" He asked. He stared up into the night sky and watched the twinkling lights above him. "Would that be so wrong to let me know?"

"Perhaps if you knew, it would change the way you act," the man beside him mused. Jack sighed. In some ways this conversation was very reminiscent of the conversations he used to have with his Ianto at times. They had really clicked. Had been able to talk about anything but their own feelings. He felt the irony of knowing that now. That they could speak about anything but what mattered most.

"Maybe," he finally responded. He didn't know what to believe anymore. He was what he was. What happened to him was in the past. He couldn't change it, and so he would go on throughout eternity. "But if I'm truly stuck like this, can't he just throw me a bone once in a while? Let my friends live, and not take them from me like that? Is that so much to ask?" He felt the warm touch of the other man's hand as it reached out to hold him.

"Again, things happen for a reason. We don't always understand it, but there it is," the man beside him said. They were silent, linked only by their clasped hands as they lay in the dark. After a long moment of silence, Father Ianto continued. "Would it help if you could say what you didn't get to say before? To say goodbye? If so, I would be willing to help you with that."

Jack was startled by the offer. He thought about it for a minute before shaking his head. "Father, it's not so much as what I want to say as what I want to do. And I don't think that would be a good thing for you." Silence met his comment, though he had felt the twitch of the other man's hand in his own. He opened his hand, freeing the other man, but was surprised when the hand wasn't withdrawn.

"Do you think that would help?" The priest finally asked. "Would it give you closure?"

"No," Jack admitted. "I'll still go looking. Because I finally believe that he's out there somewhere, waiting for me." He gestured up at the stars with his free hand. "All those stars, Father. Surely one of them has the Ianto I'm looking for."

The man known as Father Ianto Jones smiled as he stared up at the sky above them. "So you have faith in your search?" He heard Jack inhale at his question. It was followed by a shaky laugh.

"Yeah, I guess I do. Fancy that," Jack said with a smile. "Maybe it's all part of a grander plan that I find him again."

"Maybe it is," the priest agreed. They lay in comfortable silence next to one another. Behind them the glass bells chimed in the cathedral, making the call for evening song. "Oh dear, I do believe that I'm going to be late." He sat up and tugged on Jack's hand so he too was upright. "Come to the service."

"I don't know, "Jack said. He reluctantly let the priest draw him up so that they were both standing.

"What else do you have to do this evening?" The man with Ianto's face asked with a smile. Jack had to acknowledge that fact and let the other man draw him back in through the door of the rectory and through the tiny apartment to the courtyard beyond. "I need to go get my boys. Please feel free to enjoy the service." With a smile he turned and went into another part of the chapterhouse, coming out a short while later in his vestments and herding the boys back over to the cathedral again.

Jack trailed behind them, musing on the strange fact that this would be the second time in a day that he had stepped inside of a church for a service. He, the man who had no beliefs. He was lost in thought as the mass started and just let the music wash over him. The words were just a murmur, a background to his reflections of the earlier conversation. In what seemed like no time at all the service was over and he trailed out after the small group of people who had attended. He paused and stood off to the side as he watched Father Ianto speak with a few parishioners before they drifted off to their homes. When the small square was empty, he turned towards Jack.

"Dinner?" He asked and gestured back towards the rectory.

"I should be going," Jack said with a sigh. He had found a measure of peace spending time with the other man this day, but he did feel like he was intruding at this point.

"Please, it isn't any trouble, and I would appreciate the company," the priest said with a smile. "Besides, you left your coat in my apartment." Jack's heart ached as he looked into the other man's smiling face.

"So I did," he murmured. "All right," he finally acquiesced and a moment later found himself back in the warm interior of the rectory and watching as the other man lit several lanterns. Taking one off of its hook, the priest ushered him into the kitchen where he brought out some grains and vegetables for them to eat. Jack watched with interest as the other man worked. In a world where there was no electricity it was interesting to see how they lived. The priest knelt down in front of a tiny hearth and started a fire. Once he had it going, he filled a pot of water and hung it over the flames. Then he went bustling around the room, chopping vegetables and preparing their evening meal. Jack relaxed, feeling at home there. There was something about the simple life that appealed to him. A place with no technology, no one ringing you up, calling you at any time of day, or interrupting whatever else it might be that you were doing. Here, people had to make an effort. To write notes. To knock on the door and he appreciated that as a contrast to his old life.

"You're thinking deep thoughts," the amused voice of his newfound friend came from behind him and he started as the other man leaned past him to pour him a drink. "I hope our conversation helped today."

"You know, I think it did," Jack said with a nod. He thanked the other man as a plate was put in front of him and he got a whiff of interesting spices. "Wow, that smells good." Father Ianto smiled as he placed another plate on the table and sat down opposite Jack.

"Thank you. I know it isn't much, but it is satisfying," he said. He took a bite and chewed as he watched Jack dig into his food. They didn't bother to talk while they ate. Jack found the whole thing oddly comfortable. This man knew everything that there was to know about him. Stuff he had never shared with anyone else. And he wasn't judged for what happened. He was accepted. It made him feel free that someone else knew these things and knew why he was searching and still didn't criticize him.

When they were done with the meal, Father Ianto placed a bowl of fruit on the table. Jack thanked him and scooped out some sliced melon onto his plate.

"You are welcome to stay the night if you so wish," the priest finally said when they sat back from the meal. "My sofa is more than comfortable for you to rest your head. Then you can start out in the morning, should you desire to continue your journey."

"Thank you, but I should probably go," Jack said with a sigh. He looked around the tiny kitchen that was lit by candlelight. He had found a measure of peace here, but knew that if he should stay, he would be tempted to not continue his journey. And while he had found some relief here, he knew that this wasn't a place for him to settle down. And that burning desire inside him would never go away. At least not until he had either exhausted all of the possible timelines or found a compatible version of the man he was looking for. "Thank you for your hospitality. It has been lovely talking with you."

"You've given me a lot of think about Jack," the man across the table said to him with a smile. "Opened my mind to the ideas of new worlds and other dimensions that exist in the heavens above. Thank you for that."

Jack laughed. "Not many people would thank me for turning their world upside down."

"But you didn't," Father Ianto said with a smile. "You opened a universe of possibilities. For me, that shows me how wonderful God is that He can create such different and diverse worlds. And that is amazing."

"I have to say that's the first time anyone's ever said that to me," Jack said with a grin. He found that he was feeling a lot better than he had when he had first arrived in this universe. "You are in any universe an amazing man, Ianto Jones."

"Thank you Jack," Ianto said with a smile of his own. "So you won't stay?"

"I think it's best if I didn't," Jack said with a sigh. He watched as Father Ianto stood up and put the dishes away, efficiently cleaning up after their meal. When he was finished, Jack stood up and pushed his chair back in against the table. "Thank you for your hospitality today. I'm sorry if I took you away from other things that you needed to be doing."

"It's not a problem," the priest said with a smile. "After all, that's why I'm here. To provide a listening ear and perhaps some insight to help you on your journey, wherever it make take you." He reached out and clasped Jack's hand. "I wish you well and hope that you find what you're looking for. But please think about when you do find him, to ask whether what you want to do is right for him as well as yourself."

"I will," Jack promised. And he knew that the other man was right. He couldn't just rip that Ianto from whatever life he had known without being honest with him. "But I still have to try and find him."

"Then I wish you luck in your endeavor," Father Ianto said. He stepped back and led the way to the next room where Jack had placed his greatcoat. Picking it up, he held it out for Jack to put on. Jack slipped his arms into it and swallowed when he felt that familiar touch as this Ianto smoothed out the material across his shoulders. He turned and found himself face to face with the other man.

"Thank you," he said, his eyes looking into those grey-blue eyes that smiled at him. The other man opened his arms and he stepped into their embrace.

Father Ianto felt Jack tremble beneath his hands as he hugged the other man close. When they separated he straightened the collar of Jack's coat for him. "You are welcome back any time, should you find your way here again. I enjoyed our time together."

"So did I," Jack said with a nod. "And if I do find a way back, I'll be sure to visit." He stepped back, giving himself some space. "I should probably do this outside. Not sure whether it may cause some problem with all the crystal here."

"Certainly," the priest said. "Perhaps the field behind the cathedral?"

"That's an idea," Jack said with a nod. He followed the other man out the kitchen door and through the gate to the field beyond. It was pitch black outside, but the priest walked surefooted down the path, Jack trailing behind him. When they reached the field he stopped and looked back the way they had come. While he hadn't found what he was looking for, his heart had found a form of healing here. It gave him a renewed hope that he might actually succeed in this, despite the myriad of possibilities in regards to finding the right Ianto. When he turned back, it was to see Father Ianto watching him. "Thank you again."

"You're welcome," the priest said, a smile on his lips. "Is it all right if I stay and watch?"

"Sure," Jack said. "Not sure what it looks like, actually. But you might want to stand back a bit. Wouldn't want you to accidentally fall through to another dimension."

"No, I suppose that wouldn't be a good idea," the younger man said. He took a couple of steps back towards the pathway. Jack pulled the rod out of his pocket and glanced down at it. Pointing it at the empty field, he pressed the two buttons which activated it. He heard a slight gasp as light poured out of the rod and formed the doorway. Once it was full size, he glanced over his shoulder. Wonder shone on the priest's face.

"Amazing. Is that the way you travel?" He asked. Jack nodded.

"Yes," he said. "Goodbye, Ianto Jones."

"Goodbye and godspeed, Jack Harkness," the other man said. He lifted a hand in farewell with Jack returned before he stepped through the glowing portal, heading to his next destination…

_~Fin~_


End file.
